


Any Drop of Rain

by rhiannonhero



Category: As the World Turns
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-26
Updated: 2011-01-26
Packaged: 2017-10-15 02:55:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/156306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rhiannonhero/pseuds/rhiannonhero
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is totally a Train? What Train? story.  Thanks to <span><a href="http://users.livejournal.com/_alicesprings/profile"><img/></a><a href="http://users.livejournal.com/_alicesprings/"><b>_alicesprings</b></a></span> and <span><a href="http://peggin.livejournal.com/profile"><img/></a><a href="http://peggin.livejournal.com/"><b>peggin</b></a></span> for beta!  Thank you so much! :)</p>
    </blockquote>





	Any Drop of Rain

**Author's Note:**

> This is totally a Train? What Train? story. Thanks to [](http://users.livejournal.com/_alicesprings/profile)[**_alicesprings**](http://users.livejournal.com/_alicesprings/) and [](http://peggin.livejournal.com/profile)[**peggin**](http://peggin.livejournal.com/) for beta! Thank you so much! :)

Reid had never felt this way about anything or anyone in his entire life. The rush of love was pretty amazing, but the fear that went along with it was overwhelming. Reid leaned up on an elbow to watch Luke sleep. His eyes ran over Luke’s face, the dimple in his unshaven chin, the way his hair stuck up all over the place in the worst case of bed head Reid had ever seen. His study of it seemed to indicate that it was the result of fist-pulled clumping from the intense sex they’d had the night before, and some head-wallowing in the pillow during the night. Reid propped himself up so that he could look at Luke a little better.

Luke was sprawled on his back, one arm reaching out to Reid, brushing against the Reid’s hip underneath the covers, like he was seeking to make sure that Reid was still there. The sex had been the best Reid had ever had. Luke had been incredibly eager, but also a lot more confident than Reid had been expecting. There had only been a couple of times where Luke seemed a little timid, but then his eyes had ignited and he’d thrown himself back into it without additional hesitation and with so much passion that Reid had a hard time making it last. Especially once he was deep in Luke’s ass, moving slowly, trying not to come, wanting to watch Luke in the throes of physical bliss for as long as possible.

When Luke _had_ come, clinging to Reid and calling out, it had been impossible for Reid to hold back. He’d buried his face in Luke’s neck and shuddered through his orgasm, feeling weak with love, exposed, and vulnerable, suddenly absolutely terrified of the man beneath him.

Luke had stroked his back, holding Reid inside him as long as he could, digging his heels into Reid’s ass to try to prevent him from pulling out, and Reid trembled while emotions rocked through him. He felt as though he were trapped in an elevator plummeting down multiple stories: out of control, afraid, and nauseous, with a thrill so deep that he could barely breathe. It was not the after-bliss he’d been expecting.

“Reid,” Luke had whispered. “You okay?”

No, he wasn't okay. He was so in love with Luke, so addicted to him now, and it was only the first fuck, that he couldn’t imagine being able to live without him, and he had no control over that, none at all. Luke could leave him, not now probably, because he seemed pretty happy, but…someday. Love didn’t always last. Or worse, Luke could…die. Luke wasn’t entirely healthy, not with this one working kidney, and his daily regimen of immunosuppressants. A random virus could morph into something more before anyone could catch it, and he’d lose Luke. Lose the smile, the warm feeling of happiness in the pit of his stomach whenever Luke was around, the crazed feeling of lust when Luke touched him, and the small, little things that Reid had started to need like air: Luke’s particular facial expressions, his voice in every iteration of emotion, and the taste of his mouth. Reid had grabbed Luke tighter, then, still not pulling his face from the warmth of Luke’s neck, and held on like his embrace could keep Luke safe. His need for Luke had ricocheted through him painfully, and his cock throbbed in Luke’s ass.

Luke had sighed and shifted, moving his feet away from Reid’s ass. “Was it okay?”

The worry in Luke’s voice had been enough to move him, and he pushed himself up, gazed down at Luke’s uncertain expression, and watched it relax as he took in Reid’s face.

Luke smiled and said, “So, I rocked your world?”

Reid tried to laugh, because he should, and Luke was so damn cute when he was teasing, but he couldn’t, because the way he felt was too damn serious, and he had to get some kind of control before he opened his mouth. He had no idea what he might say, but he was pretty sure that, “I’m scared shitless,” was not what Luke would want to hear right now.

Luke’s eyes softened with understanding and wonder. "I'm scared, too," he said.

Reid nearly denied it; it was a reflexive thing, a desire to toss off anything that made him seem vulnerable to anyone else, because it was dangerous to show any weakness. He’d learned that long ago.

“Don’t,” Luke said. “It’s okay to be scared, Reid. It's human. This was intense and I totally get it. I get _you_.”

Reid cupped Luke’s cheek with one hand, ran his thumb down the dimple in Luke’s chin, and then pulled back. He needed to get rid of the condom before his dick softened more. Not that he was worried about it. He was clean, tested regularly, and hadn’t had more than a mutual jerk-off since before he left Dallas, but until they’d talked it over, he didn’t want to put Luke in a position that made him uncomfortable.

Luke hissed a little as Reid withdrew, and it was concerning enough that Reid had spread Luke's thighs to take a look, just to make sure that his ass was okay. Luke had been so tight, and so damn eager, that Reid had barely gotten him prepared before Luke had insisted that Reid make love to him. Make love. He’d almost snorted when Luke said it, but the look in Luke’s eyes was so intense, so hot, and it was so undeniably true that Reid had simply pushed home, pulling out when Luke’s body resisted, and then pushed back in again, until he’d been buried balls deep, with Luke squirming on his cock, sweating, and staring up at him with wide, amazed eyes.

Luke had wanted to talk about it after, but Reid put a stop to it by rolling to his back, and pulling Luke over, cuddling him close to his chest. Reid had said, “No one’s made me feel like you do,” and that was enough.

Luke had sighed, and kissed Reid’s chest, his neck, and his jaw, before settling in beside him, saying, “I’m glad we didn’t wait anymore.”

Reid had simply squeezed his shoulder, drawing him even closer, and kissed the top of his head, still too overwhelmed to even try to talk, or joke, and definitely not about that.

They’d fallen asleep then, cuddled together, and Reid had dreamed of Chris and Katie, of the heart he’d managed to get life-flighted from Bay City, and of the exhausting hours after when they’d all waited to see if the operation had any hope of success. They weren’t refreshing dreams, and he'd woken up before Luke just as the sun was filtering in through the curtains into the spare room he’d taken over at Katie’s.

Reid tore his eyes away from Luke long enough to look around the place, to see what Luke probably saw, and he realized that he’d never completely made a home of it. He’d never completely made a home _anywhere_. As a kid, he'd lived in Angus’ apartment, and not an inch of it had felt like his, and then it had just been one temporary place after another while he made it through medical school, and then, once he was in Dallas, there was no _need_ for a home, not when he’d prefer to live inside of a patient’s brain. So, he’d rented and kept everything as minimal as possible. Less junk equals less problems. Clean spaces take less time to maintain, which leaves more time for the hospital and more time for brains.

His eyes came back to Luke, who shifted onto his side and sighed in his sleep. The movement caused the blanket to slip down. Reid moved to pull it back up, but his attention fell to the scar on Luke’s side, the pale, thick skin where the incision had been made and his blood ran cold. His dreams came back to him, the reality of the terror Katie had gone through sticking to his bones, freezing him to the core.

No, Katie’s apartment wasn’t his home, and he’d never wanted it to be. Reid wasn't capable of making a place home, not the way that most people did, but it seemed he could make a person into a home. And that was Luke. And Luke was far from neat, orderly, or clean – especially not this morning, still messy from the sex they’d had the night before – but he was warm, and hospitable, and the most comfortable place Reid had ever been, and that was so far from comforting, so far from solid, because Luke was a human being, and human beings failed. They failed emotionally, they failed mentally, and most terrifying, they failed physically, and then they died.

  
Luke shifted, again, and the cover slipped down even lower. Reid reached out, his fingers tracing the warm skin, sliding over the transplant scar until he placed his palm over it entirely, cupping the side of Luke’s body, and pressing down. He wanted to make it go away -- the risk, the danger to Luke -- because the idea of Luke not being next to him in bed, not being warm, and safe, and full of so much love that it made Reid see stars freaked him out so badly, scared him _so damn much_.

“Reid,” Luke said softly, his voice still sleep-clogged.

Reid’s eyes jerked from where his hand covered the scar up to Luke’s face, and he gripped Luke’s side even tighter. Luke’s eyes were soft as he scooted closer to Reid, not dislodging Reid's hand, and he said, “Hey, I’m not going anywhere, you know. You said you wanted the whole enchilada, right? And you’re the great Dr. Reid Oliver. Who'd dare refuse you? You always get what you want.”

Reid swallowed and said, “You know that’s not true.”

Luke blinked slowly, a sweet smile on his lips. “I’ll do everything I can to make it true.”

Reid knew that Luke wasn’t just talking about his kidney, or how much Reid wanted him, but about anything that Reid wanted, and that just scared Reid all the more, because how could he possibly love Luke so much, and be loved so well, and not die from fear? Because there Luke was, everything in the world to him, and Luke was just going to _walk around_ like he was nothing special, because Luke was going to treat _himself_ like he was nothing special, and Reid had to put a stop to that because Luke was _everything_ special, and he had to start treating himself accordingly.

“Luke,” Reid began and then he pulled Luke close, kissed his mouth, and his eyelids, and then his mouth again.

It didn’t take any time at all before Luke was urging Reid to make love to him, saying, “Forget the condom, we’re both okay, aren’t we?”

Reid nodded his agreement, lubed up his cock, and pushed against Luke’s asshole. Luke whimpered, and Reid felt him press back, and then it was so _good_ , so hot, slick, and _tight_. He paused letting Luke’s ass grip and relax, letting it pull him in slowly, and it felt so amazing, and like the night before, it was better than anything he'd ever felt.

Reid knew the feelings were the root of all of this. It was the love that consumed him making him think that Luke had the sweetest, most beautiful body he’d ever known, that Luke made the most needy little sounds, and that his face scrunched in a mix of pain and pleasure was nearly unbearably hot.

When Reid thrust, he grit his teeth together, and studied every nuance, wanting to know every minute detail of Luke’s reaction. He watched the way Luke arched up to meet him, and he rode out a sharp thrill of lust as chills broke over Luke’s body, shuddering as Luke's nipples tightened into little nubs that he wanted to bite and taste. Reid stroked into Luke hard, the pleasure shooting up his spine leaving him shaken as he watched Luke come apart under him.

He was captivated by the way Luke's body clutched at his cock when Reid hit his prostate, enamored of the sweat that drenched the edges of Luke's hair, and enthralled by the way Luke seemed to struggle with how good it felt to be fucked like this. Reid felt something let go inside, something harsh and wanting, something that held him back, and he gave into the fear, plummeted, like an elevator rocketing down too many floors again, and he slammed into Luke’s body as he fell, clinging to him, fucking him hard enough that Luke was grunting and shaking under him, his heels jittering against Reid’s thighs and ass as Luke took the hard thrusts and rode them out.

“Reid, Reid,” Luke whimpered, and then he seemed to open up to Reid even more. Reid slammed in as deep and hard as he could and Luke’s eyes went wide, as he scrabbled at Reid’s back, and then came between them in wet spurts that had him arching up off the bed with a shocked cry. His ass clamped down on Reid’s cock in a rhythmic clench so hard that it hurt and Reid had to fight the urge to pull out.

Luke was breathless and flushed, and Reid gazed down at him, taking in the sight, as he thrust gently, slowly, and then pulled out.

“No, want you to…in me…” Luke whispered, trying to grab Reid’s ass and pull him back in.

“Shh,” Reid said, and he bent down to the mess that Luke had spent between them, and he ran his tongue over Luke’s stomach, into his bellybutton, greedily eating all the come, while Luke gasped and murmured his name over and over.

Reid moved up to bite and lick at Luke’s nipples, gratified when Luke arched into that and whimpered a little, his spent cock twitching in Reid’s hand. Reid rubbed his face against Luke’s chest hair, finding it soft and rough at the same time, and then went down to suck in Luke’s cock, licking it clean. He swallowed the come that still dribbled from it with each hard suck as Luke twisted above him, his hands pulling at Reid’s hair. Reid knew that Luke was too sensitive now, but he could tell that Luke liked it, too.

Reid kneeled up, ran his hands over Luke’s body, flattened his palm over Luke’s scar, and said, “If you’re going to give me what I want, you take care of you. This. This is what I want. And you have to _be here_ to give it to me.”

As Luke made a soft, sweet sound, Reid pushed into Luke again, thrusting into his still quivering asshole. Clenched there, tight and and hot, feeling Luke wrapped all around him, he reveled in Luke’s face shifting through emotions that Reid felt mirrored in himself. He loved him. God, he loved him. He was so scared of how much he loved him, but it was too late now. He’d jumped into this high stakes game of chance, and there was no backing out now.

Luke’s body felt so right around his cock. He was tight, and hot, and gripping him like he couldn’t get enough of Reid.

“I love you, Reid. I love you,” Luke said.

Reid nodded and closed his eyes, feeling Luke beneath him, taking him in, and when he opened his eyes again and saw Luke’s expression – the love, the want, the joy pouring into Reid like he was the only vessel that could hold it – Reid came hard, jerking and collapsing on Luke. The orgasm seemed to swallow him in a sweet ocean of bliss for long moments, and then he found himself, aching and feeling raw, spit back out onto the shore of Luke’s body.

Luke, laying gasping and sweating under him, held him tightly, and whispered, “I promise I won’t go anywhere, if you promise the same thing.”

Reid was panting and still too raw to think of much else to say. “Where the hell would I go? I love you. Death couldn’t keep me away.”

“I know,” Luke said, and he sounded utterly amazed. “I actually know that.”

“Good,” Reid said. “Then treat yourself accordingly.”

He pulled out, once again examining Luke as he did, making sure that in his rough thrusts he hadn’t hurt Luke, or given him an accidental tear.

“Reid, I’m okay,” Luke said, pulling Reid up to him. Reid collapsed onto Luke’s chest, and let Luke hold him. “Things got kind of intense there, though,” Luke said. “Are you…okay?”

Reid huffed a shallow laugh, and kissed Luke’s chest. “Will I get used to this?”

Luke laughed softly. “What? Used to making love to me? I hope not! I don’t want it to be boring!”

“Used to being afraid that I’ll lose you.”

Luke’s arms tightened around Reid, and he said, “I don’t know. Maybe. Maybe not. I don’t think it ever really goes away. But you learn to live with it.”

Reid made a grumbling noise of protest.

“Or…” Luke said softly. “You can cut your losses and get rid of me now.”

Reid pushed up to look down at Luke’s face. “Stop. Immediately. You’ve made me fall in love with you and now I’m stuck. Don’t act like I have a choice anymore.”

“Made you fall in love with me? I _made_ you?” Luke chuckles.

Reid smirks. “I sure as hell didn’t do it myself.”

“Well, I don’t feel guilty about it,” Luke said.

Reid nodded slowly, kissed Luke’s lips, and collapsed onto the pillow next to him.

“We’re gross,” Luke said, pushing the blankets away and looking down at their bodies. “We probably stink. I think we should shower, Reid.”

Reid groaned softly, exhausted again from the sex and the crazy roller-coaster of emotions. “And change the sheets,” Reid muttered.

“Come on,” Luke said, nudging him. “Let’s get going. I’ll buy you breakfast at _Al’s_ and then we can stop in to see Chris. I don’t think Katie came home last night.”

“She didn’t,” Reid said. He supposed that he should check on her, maybe bring her some fresh clothes, or a snack. That was the sort of thing he was pretty sure a friend would do. “Sounds like a plan.”

He didn’t budge, though, when Luke rolled out of bed, preferring to watch Luke walk across the room toward the bathroom.

“Reid?” he asked.

“Coming,” Reid said, summoning the energy to push himself off the bed. “Just checking out the ass on my new home.”

Luke’s face twisted a little in confusion. “Huh?”

“Nothing. Let’s shower.”

  
THE END


End file.
